I'd rather: Boys don't cry
by Hane-chan
Summary: I found some really nice lyrics and heres what became of the poor things...just a draft but being a new writer its nice to get feedback from all you pros out there ;) 1x2x1 with major sap warning...


Muahahaha...you're probably gonna hate this fic...it makes absolutly NO sense hehe...This is the first draft...I just wanted to see what people thought, should I continue drafting? I just looved these lyrics!!!!! Its a song called I'd rather...Ill have to get the artists name...I dont own them...I heard it on the radio once and couldn't resist...  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own GW or da characters...and I dont own the song...  
Warnings: Sappy, shounen ai...major ooc-ness for Heero...1x2x1 and really hard to understand writing...I usually write for myself so please dont be angry if some parts dont make sense...but CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always nice ;) sap...oh and somewhere in there I switch from Heeros pov to Duos...but I think you can figure it out...and did I mention sap?  
  
  
~I thought sometime alone  
was what we really needed  
you said this time would hurt more than it helps  
but I couldn't see that...~  
  
Five years...that was all it had been, but it seemed like eternity since he'd...well he didn't really want to think about it now...  
  
((((((Begin Flashback))))))  
  
Duo looked up at him with those eyes that never ceased to shine...not even now...but now things were different, and instead of happiness they shone with unshed tears, quickly wiped away by an angry sleeve...boys didn't cry...  
Heero knew he must leave, he needed to break free from Duo and the other pilots...the war was over, and there was no reason for them to even associate any more...let alone...  
well...he just needed some time by himself...  
  
~I thought it was the end  
of a beautiful story  
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone~  
  
He didn't speak all the while he was packing his things....for that matter...neither did Duo...which Heero realized was a first...he would've normally smiled at such a thought...but his face felt as if it had turned to stone...  
  
~...and I tried to find   
out if this one thing is true  
that I'm nothing without you...~  
  
As he picked up his suitcase and took a step towards the door...he chanced a look at Duos face...there were no tears...boys didn't cry.  
At first duo said nothing but then manage to ask quietly ..."why?"  
Heero didn't answer before he walked out the door.  
  
(((((Pause flashback))))))  
  
~I know better now  
and I've had a change of heart~  
  
  
Apartment 2-B...he was here. He reached his hand up to the doorbell...but pulled it back sharply and almost laughed. He, the perfect soldier...was afraid to ring a doorbell? He didn't deserve Duo...after all he'd done...  
  
((((((Return to flashback))))))  
  
  
~And then I met someone  
and thought she could replace you...~  
  
  
Heero had escaped, but was aware of the void he still felt, even though he'd done what he meant to...he realized that there was nothing he had escaped to...as he walked down the streets of Tokyo, something caught his eye...a podium set up not to far away...curious he walked over and watched a pink limo drive up to the cheers of the huge crowd. He did not need the introduction given by the man at the podium to know who that was...he stood and watched as a girl with light brown hair stepped from the car...prepared to make a speech in front of all these people. Relena Darlian. She walked gracefully to her place on the stage and spoke what the people wanted to hear, talks of peace and the prosperity of her kingdom...when she was finished, she caught Heeros eye and smiled as she walked over...  
  
  
~we got a long just fine  
we wasted time because she was not you~  
  
Just like during the war...Heero found himself holding on to her, believing that he loved her...he went to live with her in her palace at Cinq...where they seemed to others to grow closer...but in truth, they knew that they actually grew further apart...  
  
  
~we had a lot of fun  
though we knew we were faking  
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies~  
  
((((((End flashback)))))))  
  
To Heero, the past five years had been like a repeat of the war...or as if it had never ended...he still felt empty...like a machine...programmed to go on without feeling or hesitation...but he was not like that, and so found himself clinging to the person who showed him feeling and seemed to offer comfort...Relena. But though he tirelessly tried to convince himself that he loved her...that he was not simply seeking solace...he could not...and then came the marriage...which had been the last straw for him...he could not go through with it...  
  
  
~so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true  
that I'm nothing without you~  
  
He realized now, that the only one who would be able to comfort him...had been working beside him all along...  
  
  
~I know better now  
and I've had a change of heart~  
  
He again looked at the apartment door, he had come to apologize...something he had never really learned to do...and to see him...even if it was the last time...Relena had already made their marriage public...it was impossible for the two former soldiers to live together, without forming suspicions, and without being hated for the refusal to Relenas "love." Though Relena would disagree, the people saw the marriage as almost a treaty between the people and the Gundam pilots...which would end wars forever...and there was the unforgotten possibility, that Duo would have had a change of heart as well...  
  
  
~I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you...~  
  
Heero raised his hand again, and this time, managed to press the bell quickly and for a fleeting instant wanted to run away and never come back...but he somehow managed to stay where he was and waited apprehensivly...  
his breath caught in his throat as Duos form appeared at the door, his casual smile turning quickly an appearance of shock..."He--heero?"  
  
  
~I can only prove the things I say with time,~  
  
Neither spoke for a long while...Heero stood outside the door uncomfortably...trying to find words...but none came...he finally managed to say quietly..."duo..i..." he took a deep breath, his face never changing...he tried desperatly...but couldn't finish...  
  
  
~please be mine...~  
  
Duo quickly pulled him inside closed the door and pulled Heero into a tight embrace...so tight that Heero was having a hard time breathing, but heero didn't care...he laid his head on Duos shoulder and breathed in his scent...besides the fact that he had grown about an inch...Duo had not changed a bit...Heero looked up at Duos face...which was now slightly higher than his own...he could finish now...  
"I-im sorry Duo..."  
Duo looked at him for a long time...as serious as Heero had ever seen him...and said quietly..."You didn't answer me..."  
Heero tilted his head down..."I couldn't...I-I didn't...i still dont really know..." he paused as he realized the truth of this statement "I guess I thought it would be easier...i-if we were all seperated after the war...that our lives would be less complicated...that we could...forget..." he looked up again and their eyes met, "but I couldn't duo..." his voice began to shake slightly, and sixteen years of tears threatened to fall from his eyes, he furiously held them at bay and again looked to the floor..."I couldn't forget..."  
Duo didn't say anything, shocked at the sudden emotion eminating from the normally stoic boy. He desperatly wanted Heero back, but it had taken him a long time to rebuild his heart after the last blow. Heero still had many issues to work out, and Duo had a feeling it wasn't the last time he would walk out on him...but the tone of his voice...could heero really love him? There was only one way to find out. Duo cupped Heeros chin in his hand and tilted his head upwards, so he could look at his eyes. He was surprised to find that they were nearly filled with tears. With his thumb, he wiped the cobalt eyes before they could spill over...he then lowered his head, and layed a gentle kiss across the boys lips...and was shocked when he felt two arms go around his neck and the once-perfect-soldier deepening the kiss, as if he were emptying his very soul into the slightly taller boys body...   
  
  
~I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else  
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself  
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart  
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart~  
  
It didn't matter that they couldn't get rid of their pasts...that they were both once killing machines with no one to turn to...it didn't matter what people thought of them or how they were bound to taunt and threaten...As long as they were together...  
Heero looked up and saw that tears spilled freely from Duo's eyes...he wiped both of them quickly...after all...boys didnt cry...  
  
Owari...  
  
Ok so it sucked, but I really, really liked these lyrics...hehe...heres an challenge, using the lyrics, write a fic that makes more sense then mine...kudos if they're in character ;) 


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